“We got to
choose the school lunch!” said The Kiddo.
“That’s
great, honey, but you never eat that lunch,” I replied.
“I’d like to
eat it that day, Mom, and will you please come, too? It’s a special lunch we
planned and you’re always working. The other moms come.”
Oh, the
Working Mom Guilt card. I hate that card. Almost as much as I hate school
lunch. But, I was intrigued. The kiddo caught my interest with the menu she voted
for; a stir fry, fruit salad, veggie dishes. I thought, Hey, maybe they are testing some new healthy menu items and getting the
kids to participate through voting!
So, I moved
heaven and earth. Or, at least a few meetings, and I went to school for lunch.
One day, very soon, my child won’t want me anywhere near her at school, I
reminded myself. I focused on how happy The Kiddo was to see me, and on my
visions of actual food. I held her hand and walked in our single file to the
lunchroom.
I was a bit
shocked to see the school principle at the head of our line handing out brown
paper bags to each of us. I was a bit more surprised to see the food
selections; hamburger, hot dog, chicken patty, and the obligatory and neglected
dried up carrot sticks in a bag and bananas. I was quite stunned to see potato
chips count as a vegetable. And really shocked that kids could get a juice and
chocolate milk both, and “ice cream.”
After
bending double to take my seat at the kid-sized table, I unwrapped my “patty”
as best I could with my knees up at table height. Looking at The Kiddo with my
characteristic one eyebrow raised and a “WTF?” expression, I said, “So, where’s
the stir fry?”
“Well, Mom,
I voted for those things. But, the other kids all voted more for this menu,”
she said.
“Oh.” And my
mind left for a moment, contemplating the age-old philosophical question: which
came first, the chicken or the nugget? If we want our kids to eat better, when
do we quit feeding them the same old things with a resigned, “Oh, they won’t
eat anything else.”
I love the idea of giving kids control in
food choices. When it
works, the voting method was designed to help kids feel in control of making
healthier choices like chicken stir fry or veggie-loaded pizza on wholegrain
crust. The key is that all the choices need to be healthy ones, not giving them
the chance to vote more junk foods onto the menu. Hamburgers, hot dogs and
chicken patties/nuggets/fingers/fries should not have been on the ballot with
chips and “ice cream” as running mates.
The answer
just does not get simpler: kids will quit eating nothing but these foods when
we quit serving nothing but these foods. Further, when we do serve these
occasional foods, they should actually be food, not chemicals and fillers
binding together a bit of cheap food.
So, what was in that "ice cream?"
As an
example, let’s take a closer look at that “ice cream” that was “made with
loving care” as the ingredients list proudly claimed. Here’s what else that
ingredient list had to say:
Milk
By
regulation, the ingredients have to be listed in the order of the quantity of
each. You’d expect “milk” or “cream” to be first. You’d expect it, but look
closer and you may find that this product has more sweetener than milk.
Corn Syrup, Skim Milk, Sugar, High Fructose
Corn Syrup
Wait.
There’s more corn syrup in there than skim milk? Yes, and if you look closely
there are THREE different types of sweeteners. Why not just sugar? Here’s where
labels get tricky. By using three different types of sweeteners, it prevents
the first ingredient to be listed on the label from being “Some Kind of
Sweetener” instead of milk (or cream). Corn Syrup and HFCS are also thickeners
giving the frozen liquid more of an ice cream like texture when frozen. Except
that this substance, thanks to some other additives, can be thawed and refrozen
with little change in texture unlike real ice cream.
A texturizer
for processed foods, often made from corn starch.
Whey, Buttermilk and Cream
Actual milk
products!
Cellulose Gum, Guar Gum, Carrageenan, Carob
Bean Gum
Thickeners
used to replace the fat in ice cream.
Natural and Artificial Flavor
Let’s give
this one some context. “Natural flavor” does not mean that this is actual
vanilla, for example. It only means flavoring derived from natural sources. For
vanilla, this could actually mean castoreum, which is an extract derived from the dried castor sacs of the
North American Beaver. I kid you not.
Now, exactly
why it is easier to acquire some type of sac from the nether regions of a beaver
than it is to grow a few orchids is completely beyond my comprehension. But,
there it is. And, I would prefer not to imagine how this additive was ever
discovered in the first place. But, we can all rest safe knowing that no actual
vanilla beans were harmed in the making of this “ice cream.”
Cellulose Gel
Apparently,
you can never have enough gums, gels and thickeners in your ice cream.
Vitamin A Palmitate
The final
ingredient, according the label, is “made with loving care.” Enough said.