More Confessions of a Busy Mom

It's been a while since I wrote a parenting humor bit. My sense of humor took a hiatus for some strange reason, likely the insanity at work. Here goes.

1. I never have time to do my hair or wear makeup, yet, ironically, I organize my child's bookshelf by author and subject.
2. A quiet, stolen moment means I can put laundry away. Some nights, I even get to shower alone, too.
   
3. I gaze longingly at Pottery Barn catalogs. Not because I like the furniture, but because they make me remember what uncluttered rooms look like.
4. I don't clean as often as I would like to. I lie to myself that this is "green." If using chemicals is bad, and using green chemicals is better, using no chemicals is surely best, right?
5. I have arrived at work, spent a couple hours there in front of coworkers, and discovered my shirt was on inside out later.
6. After a bout of insomnia, I nodded off again, in a meeting, with clients, sitting next to our CEO.
7. The extent of my erotic fantasies is still limited to a good foot rub and eight hours of sleep. The closest thing I've gotten to a kinky position lately is this odd pose in yoga called "the dead bug."
8. I fall asleep at 8:30, before our three-year-old nods off next to me.
9. At the grocery store, my child looks after a woman and asks me, "Where's her little girl?" I replied, "Not every woman is lucky enough to have a little girl. I am a very lucky Mommy." She looked at me, beaming. "Mommy, smell my bottom! I pooted!" Oh well. At least I won't have to worry about her dating.
10. As I type, my spouse is in the kitchen baking a cake. I can hear our child asking him nonstop questions. He cracked. "I have two recipes to make! I can't think with all this!" I was bad. I giggled for a moment before I went to help.