Tuesday, May 13, 2008

A Rocky Mother's Day

My grandfather's birthday was Mother's Day. We were all going to gather to celebrate this last birthday with him. He surprised us by not showing up for the event himself. The phone rang at 11 the night before the party with the news.

We all decided to gather anyway. I needed that time, I think we all did. Part of the time was spent looking at old photographs and laughing at the memories that go with each. One image was of a trip to Colorado on which my grandmother filled the trunk of the car up with rocks for her garden. Apparently, this is a hereditary trait. When I was little, I would collect rocks and fill up my dresser drawer with the "collection."

So, after a long weekend, and a trying drive back, I took the Kiddo to the park for some time to run and play. We came home with about 10 pebbles that she had to collect. I saved them. On the dresser.

My mother's day present is in the photo here. My spouse bought it for me before the weekend. What a strange life it is, that, even in the rockiest moments, there is humor and continuity. There is the realization that all things are connected; be it life and death, the generations of our families that continue throughout, or just a weird thing for rocks.

It seems so tiny, this life. Just like one of the Kiddo's pebbles. And yet, what is a pebble but rock? Small, yes, but the very same as the greatest of mountains. We are all One.

I struggle with this. I have faith in that One, but I'm human. Resting in my shade garden, evening sun on his peaceful countenance, the Buddha Rock smiles at me and waits for me to understand.

Happy Mother's Day.


mollyjade said...

I'm sorry for your loss. In Judaism there's a tradition that when you visit a grave instead of bringing flowers you bring a rock to place on the grave.

Her Grace said...

I'm so sorry and I hope you can find peace during this difficult time.

My grandpa's memorial service was held on his birthday. Half way through the service, during what was probably the most emotional part of the service, when everyone was struggling mightily, the lights went out.

He was such a prankster, I like to think it was his way of making us laugh.

Take care...you and your family too.

Lynn from organicmania.com said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

My grandmother died on her 84th birthday, ten years ago. It's so strange to pass so close to a birthday - such a marker of life.

I had purchased her some special chocolates from San Francisco just for her birthday - and had held on to them for a while. I briefly considered mailing them in advance, and getting her another present, but decided not to because I was trying to save money and didn't want to buy another present. I always regretted that decision, and since then, I try to always give people gifts as soon as I buy them!

Expatriate Chef said...

Thank you all. What lovely comments. Thanks.

jen said...

oh sister, i am very sorry for your loss and your heart.

MamaBird said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I will think of you and your grandfather when I am arranging rocks in my garden this week.