Thursday, February 21, 2008

Ah, Thursday

I used to do this humor bit on Thursdays, a Thursday Thirteen, when I still had a sense of humor. Lately, the Terrible Threes have hit, and I am a bit confused. I thought I wasn't due for rebellion, drama, and "Don't talk to me, Mommy!" for another, oh, ten years. Wow.

That whole unconditional love of a mother is really nature's way of preserving the species, isn't it? That, and they are so gorgeous when they are asleep.

I desperately turned to the pages of Brazelton's Touchpoints for help, only to be met with, "Just as a child turns three, she and her parents are likely to enjoy a kind of second honeymoon. The toddler's negativism and struggles seem to resolve miraculously." Say whaaaat? Obviously, that book is not going to help me here. I put it down quickly.

See, I don't get a lot of time to read much besides work research and food research and food issue research. And more research. My few stolen moments a day with "literature" have been reduced to Curious George and, oh help me, Clifford. I've begun to get very critical of these, uh, books and I have to confess it: I hide the Thomas the Train one when my child is not around. There. I said it.

I also buy books for her that I can stand to read. I must have plot. I know, I'm pushing it for a three-year-old, but Mommy needs a break on this one. If you hear me, in the way that Other Moms (and Dads) do, you know what I mean. Here's a book list for us all:

The Paper Bag Princess
If you have a little girl, punt the Disney princesses out and get a real grrrl on the throne.

How I Became a Pirate and Pirates Don't Change Diapers
The illustrations are great, and you get to make the pirate voice, which is kinda therapeutic after a long day. "Arrgh!" I actually say that at work, too. Followed by a bit more sailor talk.

Skippyjon Jones and Skippyjon Jones and the Big Bones
They are about a Siamese cat who thinks he is a sword-fighting Chihuahua. And there is a lot of Spanglish in there so I feel like Antonio Banderas' Puss in Boots from Shrek. But, I sound like a mom trying to sound like ... well, you get the picture. I have these fears that my child will pop out with a cheesy accent and "Because we are full of the beans, too, Dude!" at the most wrong time and place possible. But I cannot help myself. They are fun to read. How sad it has come to this.

Finally, I like the Elephant and Piggy series. Maybe it's because the books are all written as a dialogue between two characters. It's creative and expressive. And, I get to do more funny voices.

It's late. The Kiddo is in bed asleep. I am going to go make sure the Thomas book is still buried, then I am going to call it a night.


jen said...

three is a piece of work, isn't it? humbling and enraging and wonderful all at once.

i salute you from my weary corner.

Anonymous said...

It's a fact. God made babies and puppies cute so we wouldn't kill 'em.


Rachel said...

Bazelton can kiss my patoot. While I wouldn't mind a second honeymoon (hey, with Jess, a first honeymoon would be nice!), I ain't betting the house on that.

As for books, I'm totally with you. I totally do my best to choose books that I'll enjoy reading. Plot a must. How else will Jess learn?

Do you get the Charlie and Lola series by Lauren Child? It's a brother and sister (Charlie's older, Lola's younger), Charlie narrates about his sister and their life. It's really endearing! The funniest is that they're written as if through a child/young person's voice. I get the giggles!

Janet said...

I was ready to send my kid back (but where!!?!) when she was 3 1/2. I read an out-of-print book Your Three-Year-Old by Frances Ilg (or something like that), which saved my sanity. Three was the worst for my now 20-year-old. Meanwhile, try Daniel Pinkwater's The Big Orange Splot. I love that book. And food lover that you are, you must have Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. You'll survive, but it ain't easy!

JHS said...

Thank you for sharing this post with the readers of this week's Carnival of Family Life! This week the Spring is Just Around the Corner Edition is hosted at home at Colloquium! Hope you will drop by and read some of the many other wonderful entries received this week!

My kids are almost-21 and 16. I'm still waiting for that second honeymoon, so I'm with Rachel on Brazelton kissing part of my anatomy. :-) Got a beat-up copy of "Small Pig" if you're interested. It was read about 16 zillion times. By me. To the oldest. :-)

Tempered Woman said...

Oh my gosh~ the paper bag princess was one of our all-time faves! Only I'd change all the names to be people in our family. And Prince Ron (? did I remember that right?) was of course her dad's name. hehe. My monkey got such a kick out of that. For Halloween in the 1st grade (a very very long time ago) the kids dressed up as their favorite book characters and I was so proud of her amidst all of the Harry Potters and Hermiones~ a simple paper bag and tiara!

Alison said...

Three was the worst. THE WORST. It was all the hardest parts about two, but everything became much, much more personal. And there were no easy distractions.

The best part, though? You're getting closer to chapter books. Those are really fun.

Katie said...

Oh wow, been there, done that. My daughter's 3s were soooo challenging. I think kids just pick any full 12-month period in which to test your every last nerve. For some it's 2, others, 3. (And the really good 2s are the ones to watch out for -- you aren't a great parent, they are just storing it all up for later!) The good news is she's 4 now and very focused on "school" and "homework" and writing her name perfectly, perfectly, perfectly. I used to joke that it would be like a switch went off on her 4th birthday and she'd be mine again. So far, that's weirdly come true.

JHS said...

Thanks for contributing this post to this week's Carnival of Family Life, hosted at This Full House. Be sure to stop by on Monday, March 10, 2008, and support your fellow participants by checking out all of their wonderful contributions.