See, I have my own theory on this whole idea. I don't think my brain got any smaller at all, I think that post childbirth, I am now trying to cram so much into it by remembering everything for me, for work, for my spouse and now my child, that there's just a whole lot more to cart around up there. There is no more vast, open space up there to contemplate things such as the meaning of life, the mystery of the universe, or why anyone finds Paris Hilton interesting.
No more space for such pursuits. At. All. Instead, we women must now drag around the following information at all times:
- The location and estimated expiration date of every item in the refridgerator at any given moment.
- Every social committment, personal calendar of each family member, birthdays of obscure relatives you've never met, and thank you notes required for every occasion throughout the year. Even if you are still trying to get last year's thank yous written.
- What the entire family needs from every different store at any given time, every week.
- The theme song to Reader Rabbit (or whatever DVD you play for the kiddos). No need to try and remember this, it sticks really well.
- What to fix for dinner for every day of the week after you forgot what you really needed from the store or market earlier that week.
- Which of the 1,000,000 toys was recently recalled by Mattel that you thought you saw buried under the other 1,000 plastic toys made in China that could be recalled next.
- Where you put the 20 lists of other things you need to remember to do.
- To breathe. Must remember to breathe.
- The complete details of every one of the ten different projects on your work desk at any given time.
- The last time each of your household chores was done, and which one most needs to get done next. Has it really been a month for dusting, or can it wait another week?
- Every bump, scratch, fever, strange rash, new tooth, illness, vaccination, allergy and any other incident by exact date and location for your child's pediatrician who supposedly keeps these records for you, but doesn't seem to have them.
- Which socks match which tie, jacket, shirt and pants in your husband's closet even if most days your personal fashion high point is not having anything on backward, or "too many" wrinkles or food stains in obvious places.
- Thirteen things to post on Thursdays.