- I set a school record and won a medal for the two-mile run on the track team. Not because I was fast. I was just the only person who had ever run the event.
- I was on the drill team (dance squad). They automatically put all girls who failed cheerleading tryouts on drill team. Yeah, it was that bad. Jazz hands!
- The photo of me after my stepmom gave me a home perm that earned me the nickname “Harpo.” This is the cruelest thing you can do to a 13-year-old.
- The first time my husband met my grandfather, my grandfather told him all about the hardships of his Krohn’s disease. The dialog began like this, “I bet you’re wondering why that paper towel is taped to my toilet lid …” No, we weren’t wondering. Somehow the remainder of that conversation led to an account of his then-wife’s recent case of pin worms. My husband never seems to want to go visit my family…
- The fact that she will probably be able to borrow one of my current bras for her “starter” one. Gotta love post-pregnancy.
- My brother and I look and sound so much alike, it turns my husband off sex.
- The potential that she will inherit my husband’s dance moves and my singing voice. Or vice versa. See point two.
- The ten-minute long video of she and I lying on the floor looking up at the camera doing raspberries.
- The fact that I will cry loud and publicly the day she stops running to greet me, arms out-stretched for a hug.
- My vintage leg-warmer collection. I think they are in a lost box with my hot rollers and Van Halen cassette. Note to self: seek out and burn.
- When I am old, and trying to tell her kids stories about my past. And they just think I am a crazy old bat.
- My sister can win ANY burping contest for volume and sheer force. Any.
- This blog.
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Thirteen things about me and my family that will embarrass my child later in life: