- You will likely be greeted at the door by a barefoot, disheveled heathen covered in food. It's okay, I'm friendly. My child is the shorter one jumping up and down next to me.
- You may not have the right forks, or any forks in any order you would expect. No worries, we often eat with our hands.
- Napkins will be either paper or really wrinkled and used looking cloth. Both versions are clean. But if you think I have time to iron napkins, well, just look at how I am dressed (see point one).
- We eat vegetables. A lot of vegetables. You don't have to eat your share, and I won't give you a time out and no dessert. But you might have a fairly empty plate.
- We also drink wine. This includes my child who will stick a food-covered finger in your glass the second you are not looking to taste your goods. I did not teach her this. I did not encourage it. I think it is genetic.
- Speaking of food and glasses, whoever sits on the other side of my child gets two water glasses. One to actually drink out of, and the other in case my child decides to share. The backwash is pretty ugly.
- Almost before the food has been consumed, all the little people at the table jump up and run off to play. I am usually with them. Even though I know your wit and conversation are sparkling, chances are I am having more fun.
- I don't believe in a "children's table." If we go anywhere that has one, I eat at that table with my child. Especially in this case, I am probably having more fun.
- Seconds on desserts are allowed and encouraged. My husband will eat the last brownie, so move fast.
- I love nice table manners. If you use them, I will watch in fascination. It's been a while since I've seen this.
- I did mention we serve lots of vegetables, right?
- No soda allowed at the dinner table. Sorry. You also won't find it in our fridge, so we're not being rude by not offering it. We have some great milk.
- If you want a sippy cup instead of a wine glass, that's okay. I have dibs on the one with sharks on it.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Thursday Thirteen: Guess Who's Serving Dinner
Ah, busy weekend ahead. Company for dinner again. No, I will not be making my own tortillas. I especially won't be grinding my own corn. So, along with the caveat that elitist foodies should avoid my table, comes a few simple guidelines (WARNING! Danger Will Robinson) on comin' to dinner: