Thursday, June 14, 2007

Thursday Thirteen: Guess Who's Serving Dinner

Ah, busy weekend ahead. Company for dinner again. No, I will not be making my own tortillas. I especially won't be grinding my own corn. So, along with the caveat that elitist foodies should avoid my table, comes a few simple guidelines (WARNING! Danger Will Robinson) on comin' to dinner:
  1. You will likely be greeted at the door by a barefoot, disheveled heathen covered in food. It's okay, I'm friendly. My child is the shorter one jumping up and down next to me.
  2. You may not have the right forks, or any forks in any order you would expect. No worries, we often eat with our hands.
  3. Napkins will be either paper or really wrinkled and used looking cloth. Both versions are clean. But if you think I have time to iron napkins, well, just look at how I am dressed (see point one).
  4. We eat vegetables. A lot of vegetables. You don't have to eat your share, and I won't give you a time out and no dessert. But you might have a fairly empty plate.
  5. We also drink wine. This includes my child who will stick a food-covered finger in your glass the second you are not looking to taste your goods. I did not teach her this. I did not encourage it. I think it is genetic.
  6. Speaking of food and glasses, whoever sits on the other side of my child gets two water glasses. One to actually drink out of, and the other in case my child decides to share. The backwash is pretty ugly.
  7. Almost before the food has been consumed, all the little people at the table jump up and run off to play. I am usually with them. Even though I know your wit and conversation are sparkling, chances are I am having more fun.
  8. I don't believe in a "children's table." If we go anywhere that has one, I eat at that table with my child. Especially in this case, I am probably having more fun.
  9. Seconds on desserts are allowed and encouraged. My husband will eat the last brownie, so move fast.
  10. I love nice table manners. If you use them, I will watch in fascination. It's been a while since I've seen this.
  11. I did mention we serve lots of vegetables, right?
  12. No soda allowed at the dinner table. Sorry. You also won't find it in our fridge, so we're not being rude by not offering it. We have some great milk.
  13. If you want a sippy cup instead of a wine glass, that's okay. I have dibs on the one with sharks on it.


Rachel said...

Beth, dear, are we the same people in two different countries?!? I swear to God, we are exactly the same. I thought I was the only mother of a budding boozer - Jess isn't nearly as polite as the Kiddo; she's been known to snatch wine glasses and try to glug! Beer too, god help me.

We'll be over next weekend. I'll bring my Dora The Explorer Sippy Cup. Shiraz tastes divine sucked through those little holes at the top. And I'll bring the Rainbow Chard I bought on Wednesday at the local farmer's market. It puuuurdy, man.

Her Grace said...

Dinner at your house sounds lovely.

The Expatriate Chef said...

C'mon over! I think we need to meet up! A. likes her beer too, Peroni. Oh my. Bring on the Shiraz! And the chard.

Her Grace,
C'mon over, too. You can play with the kiddos as well. :)

Emily said...

Sounds like a perfect evening to me. :)

Rachel said...

Wouldn't that be lovely? I love communal cooking with people who are enthusiastic participants. When we do get together for our meal, I'll leave the food spots on my sweater so we can match! ;-P

I'm beginning to talk, semi-seriously, with some of my closer friends on MotherTalkers about a big resort weekend at some point. Wouldn't it be great to get all our kids together and have a proper talk en groupe, face to face?! It seems a dream right now, but given the right agitation, it should just come off.

The Expatriate Chef said...

How about renting out a whole villa in Tuscany with a kitchen? We can all gather and cook and talk and drink good chianti ... :) However, with our group, a shack in the middle of nowhere would be wonderful! I'd love to meet all of you.

Rachel said...

We really are one brain in two bodies - I've *always* fantasized about renting a Tuscan villa for a summer. For some reason, that's just always seemed like the ultimate luxury vacation to me!

The close second is a run-down French chateau (mainly because I speak French, having lived in Paris, and I don't speak Italian!).

The Expatriate Chef said...

Both would be wonderful. In my heart, I am an Italian grandmother. I just think it would be an amazing place to discover food again, and share it with friends who are along. France would be lovely as well. There's just something about the passion for life and food that appeals to me. I hope we all make it there!

The Expatriate Chef said...

Rachel, we MUST be twins just like our daughters! So glad I have met you.

Rachel said...

amen! There are times when we have to conclude that technology is a humanizing factor, rather than the common perception that it dehumanizes us!

Martha said...

I once provided my poor dinner guests with toilet paper as napkins. I wasn't much of a cook back then and was so flustered that I hadn't even thought about it - luckily it was seven 23 year old girls far more concerned with wine than dinner finery. :)

I love your blog!! I have also been reading the Eat Local Challenge blog for awhile and really liking it.