Taute Cuisine 6: Battle Orange Continues

“Hello, Poison Control, how can I help you?”
“Please don’t laugh.”
“Okay.”
“I was letting my toddler try the herbs I am growing. She ate a sage leaf, and some rosemary, and that was okay. But then she ate a big scoop of dirt. And it was that potting soil with plant food in it that you have to wear gloves to handle?”
“Uh, how long ago did you pot the herbs?”
“About two months.”
“Oh, that fertilizer will have been gone by now, it’s just Styrofoam beads left. Those will come right through.”
“Oh, great, thanks.”
“You know, the average kid eats about five pounds of dirt by the age of five.”
“Wow, really? I guess she’ll get at least that much just by eating off my kitchen floor.”

True story. The things that kids eat, and what they won’t, are truly mystifying. Often, I am finding, it has less to do with taste than it does a battle of wills. That, and a general trend toward putting anything non-food into their mouths that clearly goes against all survival instincts.

As I wrote earlier, we’re currently engaged in the Battle of Orange Food. A battle, I find, I am winning, as long as it seems like I am not looking or my little one forgets about the battle and lets slip a few bites of Butternut Squash soup or Carrot Souffle. She even requested “Pie” with none in sight after sampling my Sweet Potato Pie.

Victory is mine inevitably, and I am well-stocked with ammunition; two sugar pumpkins, three acorn squash, three butternut squash, and no less than 20 lbs. of sweet potatoes. All fresh and seasonal, and locally-grown. I also have the inside knowledge that she loves herbs, almost more than dirt.

In fact, the way she zeroes in on anything potted on the back porch makes me glad for once that I kill every houseplant I come near. God knows what she’d be eating when I break down and have to go to the bathroom for a moment. Maybe I should just leave orange food on the floor around the house …

The latest culinary weapon is my Holiday Dish, Sweet Potato Gratin. I don’t ever see sugarplums when I think holidays, I have visions of butterfat. So, this is not light, at all. It is not an everyday dish. It also contains Five-year-aged Farmhouse Gouda at $20.00 per pound which my child loves regardless of the fact that it is orangish in color. No doubt because it is $20.00 a pound.

I tried to be exact with the measurements, but we were having a trying day, thus I ended up cooking with a 30-pound child strapped in a backpack, shouting, “I WANT CHEESE!” every few seconds while I was grating as fast as I could.

Happy Holidays!

Sweet Potato, Gouda and Herb Gratin
Looking for these recipes? They will be included in my upcoming book co-authored with Ali of Cleaner Plate Club!